Diving into Who Melchizedek Was in the Bible (Part #1)

Who cares what the goat herder's guide to the galaxy says? Here are some more great highlights from the book of myths:

Moses’ staff transforms into a snake and back again (Exodus 4:2-9), and later swallows the serpents made by Egyptian magicians (Exodus 7:12).

The Red Sea parts miraculously, allowing the Israelites to walk through on dry ground while the pursuing Egyptian army is drowned (Exodus 14:21-22).

A talking donkey speaks to Balaam, rebuking him for beating it (Numbers 22:28-30).

Joshua commands the sun and moon to stand still so the Israelites can defeat their enemies (Joshua 10:12-14).

A giant fish swallows Jonah, keeping him alive for three days and three nights before vomiting him onto dry land (Jonah 1:17, 2:10).

Elijah raises a dead boy to life by lying on him and praying (1 Kings 17:21).

Elisha makes an iron axe head float on water by throwing a stick into the river (2 Kings 6:5-7).

A bush burns with fire but is not consumed (Exodus 3:2).

A flying scroll measuring 20 cubits long and 10 cubits wide appears before the prophet Zechariah (Zechariah 5:1-2).

Demons are cast into a herd of pigs, which then rush into a lake and drown (Matthew 8:32).

God turns water into wine at the wedding in Cana, producing a superior vintage (John 2:9).

A man is struck dead for ejaculating on the ground instead of fulfilling his levirate duty (Genesis 38:7).

Ravens bring food to Elijah every morning and evening (1 Kings 17:6).

A man’s hand becomes leprous and is instantly healed by God’s command (Exodus 4:6-7).

A man’s body is resurrected after death, walking into Jerusalem and being seen by many (Matthew 27:52-53).

The Israelites are fed manna from heaven daily for 40 years (Exodus 16:14-15).

A rod turns into a snake, and blood flows from water as part of the plagues of Egypt (Exodus 7:10, 17).

A woman turns into a pillar of salt for looking back at the destruction of Sodom (Genesis 19:26).

Your desperation to believe this shit doesn't make it valid, so keep believing your magical book, but understand we see you for what you are... weak minded and easily fooled.