This absolute UNIT in a speedo launches off the rock, SLIPS mid-air, pancake-slaps wi

Fortunately his spine was already max compressed by his fat

broke his arse on that pointy rock hahaha

His friends call him p'Elvis

At what point does someone say to themselves, "Maybe I should loose a few pounds"?

He will find no comfort in sitting for quite awhile.

His sphincter definitely is no longer water tight!
Probably wasn’t to begin with.

It wasn't a speedo when he put it on, just a regular pair of shorts.

No harm, no hurt.

He had enough padding there to land an Apollo return capsule back on land instead of water.